I have a beautiful son.
Some day I want to live in a hobbit hole, spend all day growing things and drinking tea.
the end.

I have decided on a name for my next son.

His name shall be Ulli.

End of story.

I don;t even care what anyone else says. It’s a magical name, and it shall be his.
I just know it will be suiting. I can feel it in my bones….. The same way I knew that Zephyr would suit my first son.

Call me what you want, but my kids are badass. Zeph is already a little metalhead machine, and I have a feeling that Cameron and I will create the ultimate child. Cute, intelligent, musically inclined, artistic and strong.

Life is coming up Ruby.

2 years ago

God, I’m still in love with you.


Yah hear me? I still love you, dickhead.


2 years ago

A little blurb about My Son.

Name: Zephyr Jason Alexander Sinclair
DOB: December 4th 2011
WAB: 8lbs 13 oz
TOB: 8:13 am

The story of his father,
     Will is a great person. He has his issues, and he REALLY wasn’t ready for a child, as much as he said/says he is. We had our issues, and we both gave it our best go to try and make things work. We are just not the right people for each other, and we were poison for one another. We still talk from time to time, and try to get Zephyr to see Will as much as we can, but unfortunately because of distance, schedules and money, it isn’t as often as we’d like. Will loves Zephyr VERY VERY much and tries his best to be a good dad, but he just wasn’t ready for this; neither of us were. We are just two people trying to make the best of a surprise situation. I thank the universe every day for giving me such a beautiful gift. I love my son more than life, and I would die for him.

As for Zeph’s background, I would assume you mean ethnically, and as far as I know he is Scottish/IRISH, and Native/English….. Will’s Background is quite unclear to me, it is never something we talked about.

I couldn’t tell you why he is so cute. I have been told that a child’s loveliness is a reflection of how much positive energy a mother had flowing through her during her pregnancy, and based on mine, I would say that is true. I loved Will a great deal while we were pregnant, and I would sit once a day and rub my belly and think of all the good times we had, and how perfect our little family would be. I would hold an image in my mind of the three of us cuddling on cold winter days watching movies in bed, and playing in leaves during the fall…. Going to the beach in the summer and splashing around in puddles in the spring. I just imagined how wonderful life would be, and tried to flush out all the crap around me, and make my uterus a safe and calm place for Zephyr.  Will and I had a VERY tough time getting along, and we tried to make things work, but it was incredibly stressful; it was not a good environment for either of us, let alone a newborn child. All I can say about why he is so cute, is that he is constantly surrounded by love and attention and gets everything he needs from myself.

I hope this answered all of your questions =]
Feel free to drop anything else in my ask box =]

2 years ago

I’m REALLY considering combing out my dreads…

I want normal hair again……

And I’m really curious to see how long it is now….  I have had my dreads for three years..

2 years ago

Overwhelming swell
Crashing down on my intellect.
Smother the woolen wings
Shrink with suffocating imminence.

Never remain exposed
Fly free of innovation
Sleep only in shadow
Live only in fear.

2 years ago

I just want to look as beautiful as I feel.

2 years ago
So i woke u p this morning and picked up my shorts off the floor so I could go across the apartment to get Zephyr.
This was hanging, folded in half off of the waistband.
I  can’t stop smiling at how perfect that was…. especially to wake up to.

So i woke u p this morning and picked up my shorts off the floor so I could go across the apartment to get Zephyr.

This was hanging, folded in half off of the waistband.

I  can’t stop smiling at how perfect that was…. especially to wake up to.

2 years ago

steaming boots

howling caverns

black as night

into the universe.

we are light as feathers

streaming through the atmosphere

exploding into space

only to die of lack of oxygen.

2 years ago


I post a gif of Finn and Jake; 200+ notes.

I post about my mom having brain cancer and needing someone to talk to…. 0 notes.

2 years ago

soooo….. I have some stuff I need to get out.

1. My mom has inoperable brain cancer.
This is quite depressing.

2. My boyfriend has a comfort complex. His reaction to me telling him my mom is going to die was, “I’m sorry?” and a pat on the back. I don’t even know how the fuck I could get through her actual death with someone who has no idea how to comfort me….

3. I feel like this relationship has fizzled out quite quickly. I have no idea how to tell him that things aren’t working as they are; I feel like he holds some kind of grudge against me because I asked him to move back to his dad’s house. It is like he can’t seem to understand that we hadn’t even been dating a half a year and were living together. I have done that in my last three relationships and it didn’t work out well AT ALL. I really do care for him, but I have no idea how to tell him I just want to take things slow. I tried to, and he just got mad and wouldn’t listen to me; I can only assume because he thought I was personally attacking him or something.

4. I feel like Cameron thinks I am going to fuck him over like Chelsea did. I don’t know how to prove to him that I am not her, or anything like her for that matter, and this is troubling.

5. I am afraid that my son won’t grow up in a loving home because I ruin everything I fucking touch. I love him SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOOOOOOOOOO much; I can’t even describe how much I love him in words… but I feel like I will find some new twisted way to fuck him up just because I am always such a wreck.

I really need someone to talk to, so if anyone is reading, any advice is welcome. How do I deal with all this at once? I feel like I am going to explode.

Someone send me some reiki, positive energy…… anything.

2 years ago

There once was a boy named Jack, and all he could think about was crack.

He fell in love with a girl named Jill, but alas, no children for them because she was on the pill.

It’s a good thing though, because that kid would have been whack.

On a side note* Jill was also a prostitute and a heroin addicted drug dealer.

2 years ago

Okay last one….I promise


Your footprints left on my heart,
Always here,
Lingering like ghosts,
They haunt my thoughts;
Inhabit my soul.
Make it dark, and
Chills up my spine,
Almost like that first kiss.
With your first,
Me always.
Your footprints,
Left on my heart,
Always here.
Lingering like ghosts,
Ghosts of you.

2 years ago

The Angelhair Hauntings

Laying on the floor of my room,
I stare at the ceiling,
And imagine that it were a giant glass dome,
Revealing the cloudy, star-studded night sky above.

Beyond these walls is an entire world.
Waiting for me to discover it.
Its just waiting for me, but what am I waiting for?
I’m waiting for my miracle.

Are my dreams reality?
Why cant I seem to draw them out?
Shadows encase them darkly.
Standing in the mirror is a monster,
Standing adjacent to me is not myself,
A shadow of unrecognizable strength,
Burns to be set free.

Last chances in late stages,
I grasp my own day dreams.
I ask for my miracle and wait.
Sand bleeds through my fingers,
Slipping away, and reminds me of time;
More or less how little i have left.

Roses are in late stages of bloom,
The petals fall and blow in the wind.
Magical dances of the woodland pixies
Bring me back to my childhood.
Persistant of my miracle,
I wait one more minute; I feel eternity.

Whimsical masters tap at my window,
Urging me to leave my cocoon of safety.
My angelhair binds are relentless.
The hold me for a thousand years over,
And I am forever waiting.

Lusty faces haunt me,
Tempting me to sinful thoughts.
Resisting the magical force,
That draws me towards the light.
My skin is ripped away, leaving only pasty insides,
They hang from my skeleton.

Wild animals eat away my soul,
Ravage what is left of my being.
So much for my protective shell.
I guess the mind is more powerful than I think.
My symptoms have melted away,
And the comatic state settles.
Eternal darkness; there are no more stars.
Only dark shadows of my past.

2 years ago

snakeskin and leopard print

shadows of deception
lurk in corners
the monsters smell fear
they crave the darkness within

cavernous spaces encased
rotting flesh and fungal stench
death creeps in coldly

hallucinations melt into reality
downward spiral of conscious being
the sleep is there but never comes
terrors are all we know

emotional torture
sinks in with delirious images
psychosis becomes prominent
unconscious lucidity

2 years ago


spiral decent into the abyss
lightening the days
immortal vengance is emminent

stalking quietly in the gallows
the prey unknowing
strike with fear
sparkling desire for lust
of blood and demons

slight aggravation at failure
pressing on into the night
deepening the darkness
plummeting into death

it’s almost a deathly sight; a girl with so much potential just wasting away. the needle has been kind to her though.
2 years ago
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